vote....

Vote for the man who promises least; he'll be the least disappointing.

- Bernard Baruch

power of singing....

The first time I sang in the church choir; two hundred people changed their religion.

- Fred Allen

filthy...

I came from a dirt farm, now I'm filthy rich.

- Larry Holmes (former heavyweight boxing champion)

lifes hard...

Life is hard; it's harder if you're stupid.

- John Wayne

man and nature....

It appears to be a law that you cannot have a deep sympathy with both man and nature.

- Henry David Thoreau

obscure....

Be obscure clearly.

- E.B. White

equal...

Forty for you, sixty for me. And equal partners we will be.

- Joan Rivers

marriage...

Marriage, n: the state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all, two.

- Ambrose Bierce

honesty pays...

Honesty pays, but it don't seem to pay enough to suit a lot of people.

-Kin Hubbard

confessions...

Hearing nuns' confessions is like being stoned to death with popcorn.

- Fulton J. Sheen

overstatement......

What's on your mind, if you will allow the overstatement?

- Fred Allen

euphoria...

That's the difference between me and the rest of the world! Happiness isn't good enough for me! I demand euphoria!

- Calvin (Calvin & Hobbes)

mantra...

When in doubt, mumble; when in trouble, delegate; when in charge, ponder.

- James H. Boren

being poor...

The trouble with being poor is that it takes up all your time.

- Willem de Kooning

wedding anniversary...

A wedding anniversary is the celebration of love, trust, partnership, tolerance and tenacity. The order varies for any given year.

- Paul Sweeney

exercise - 2

whenever I feel like exercise, I lie down until the feeling passes.

- Robert Hutchins

origin of aerobics.....

The word "aerobics" came about when gym instructors got together and said 'If we're going to charge $10 an hour, we can't call it jumping up and down'.

- Rita Rudner

mouth wash...

Exercise is a dirty word. Every time I hear it, I wash my mouth out with chocolate.

- Anonymous

exercise....

I am pushing 60. That is enough exercise for me.

- Mark Twain

sausage and picasso...

A high-brow is someone who looks at a sausage and thinks of Picasso.

- AP Herbert

internet...

The Internet is a telephone system that's gotten uppity.

- Clifford Stoll

trust and understanding...

The relationship between the Welsh and the English is based on trust and understanding. They don't trust us and we don't understand them.

- Dudley Wood, Rugby Man

enough...

Enough, no more. 'Tis not so sweet now as it was before.

- Shakespeare (Twelfth Night: Act 1, scene i)

consequences...

Any intelligent woman who reads the marriage contract, and then goes into it, deserves all the consequences.

- Isadora Duncan

stock markets.....

October. This is one of the peculiarly dangerous months to speculate in stocks in. The others are July, January, September, April, November, May, March, June, December, August and February.

- Mark Twain

flies...

As flies to wanton boys, are we to the gods, — They kill us for their sport.

- King Lear Act IV, Scene 1

running a country....

Too bad that all the people who really know how to run the country are busy driving taxi cabs and cutting hair.

- Bob Hope

personality....

My personality? The kazoo. Requires enthusiasm but no skill whatsoever.

- John Lithgow (When asked what instrument would reflect his personality)

opportunity...

Opportunity knocked. My doorman threw him out.

- Adrienne Gusoff

forgiving...

We read that we ought to forgive our enemies; but we do not read that we ought to forgive our friends.

- Sir Francis Bacon

marriage...

Marriage: A word which should be pronounced "mirage".

- Herbert Spencer

good film...

A good film is when the price of the dinner, the theatre admission and the babysitter were worth it.

- Alfred Hitchcock

worst mistakes.....

Some of the worst mistakes of my life have been haircuts.

- Jim Morrison

children....

If your parents never had children, chances are you won't either.

- Dick Cavett

key to success...

Whenever I find the key to success, someone changes the lock. 

- Anonymous

abilities....

Men take only their needs into consideration, never their abilities.

- Napoleon Bonaparte

unique...

Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.

- Margaret Mead

public relations....

Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some hire public relations officers.

- Anonymous

giving...

When I give, I give myself.

- Walt Whitman